eight.

Following this weeks public disgracing of Nick Griffin, cunt-of-the-world award 2009/2010, I thoguht this little piece of brilliance would be perfect:

101 Ways To Kill Nick Griffin!

We'll start with the normal ways:

1. Shoot him.
2. Strangle him.
3. Poison him.
4. Knife him.
5. Run him over.
6. Curb-stomp him.
7. Bludgeon him.
8. Drug him.
9. Lethal Injection.
10. Electric Chair.

Yeah, we'll bring back the death sentence just for him, won't we? We just hate him that much. How his party ever got a seat, I'll never know. Now onto some wilder fantasies.

11. Decapitation.
12. Public Shooting.
13. Public Hanging.
14. Public Decapitiation.
15. Morphine in his wine.
16. Rat poison in his food.
17. Murdered by a hooker.
18. Murdered by a black person.
19. Murdered by a jew.
20. Murdered by a Pole.

Well, how about something entertaining?

21. Ninjas!
22. Samurai...
23. Pirates.
24. Robots?
25. Agent Smith.
26. Kabuterimon.
27. Megakabuterimon!
28. Over-feeding.
29. Over-drinking.
30. Tokomon's teeth?

How about something wild?

31. Caravan'd. Top Gear Style.
32. Demolition ball.
33. Crushed by a fat person.
34. Stabbed by a thin person's shoulderblades.
35. Bears!
36. Moshed to death at an Anthrax concert.
37. Anthrax!
38. AIDS. (Feel that burn.)
39. Seige-starved by picketing his house.
40. Final Destination 3 Rollercoaster Fun Times.(tm)

Ormaybe some ice with that burn?

41. Beaten to death by foreign workers.
42. Handbagged to death by homosexuals.
43. Jihad by UK-Based Islamoextremists.
44. A pound of flesh removed from his body by Jews. (I do like Judaism, really.)
45. Speared to death by a Pole. (I like Poland, too)
46. Mauled by junkies, looking to use the fat on his body to make candles for a fix of smack.
47. Eaten alive by big cats.
48. Eaten alive by big wolves.
49. Eaten alive by cannibals.
50. Eaten alive by Tokomon.

Woooooah, we're half way theeere!

51. Horse-kicking by Juan Valdez's horse.
52. Horse-dicking by Juan Valdez's horse.
53. Caffiene overdose in a cup of Juan Valdez.
54. Poisoned by a cup of Juan Valdez.
55. Eyes burned out of his sockets by molten Juan Valdez.
56. Razorblades in the Juan Valdez.
57. Juan Valdez serenades him with a beating of his guitar over his head.
58. Juan Valdez serenades him with a gun.
59. Mass-stoning for his Juan Valdez.
60. Jamaicans.

I want a cup of coffee now.

61. Space-pirate-amazon-ninja-catgirls.
62. An Ancient Black Dragon.
63. the Raven Queen.
64. Dragon from Shrek.
65. Incinerated by a pink bear that smells of strawberries.
66. Meatballs fall from the cloudy sky and become his fucking head.
67. Deathnote.
68. Scott Pilgrim kills him.
69. Stoned to death with a d20.
70. Gased to death by any local wargames club. The scent would cause his nose to evaporate.

Fuck it, I'm having fun now!

71. Pikachu!
72. Mudkip!
73. Anonymous.
74. V for Vendetta style killing.
75. Claymore'd.
76. Grenade in the face.
77. Joker'd.
78. Riddler'd.
79. Tardis'd.
80. Tokomon. He's worth mentioning three times.

Something old school?

81. Drive him somewhere secluded. Shoot him. Leave the gun... Take the canoli.
82. Crow'd.
83. How about a shave? Blade across his neck.
84. Shot at the barricade of freedom?
85. There can only be one! Highlander'd.
86. Kicked by a motorcyclist off a bridge. Just like Baxter.
87. Human Football.
88. Operatic note so high it smashes his eardrums.
89. Dropkick him so hard it ruptures his spleen.
90. Sacrifice to a pagon god, oblique satan.

Funsies!

91. Strap him to the outside of a rocket. The outer G-Force will kill him.
92. If not, then atmospheric pressure will.
93. If not, his head shall decompress, explosively.
94. If not, fly him into the fucking SUN.
95. Localised Supernova.
96. Thrown in a black hole.
97. Hawking'd!
98. Crash into a sattelite?
99. Burn up on re-entry.
100. Fall several miles to the ground where he is crushed INTO the ground until he is merely whale meat.

And the grand finale.

101. 9/11.

Thank you.