Fuck Alien Swarm.
There I said it. If you're not sure what I'm going on about, then go the the VALVe website, download Steam, and then download Alien Swarm.
If you say to me 'I Like It', then I will kill you.
Premise: Alien Swarm is a free, top-down design, alien shoot-'em-up. To break it down, you are a space voyager who's job it is to investigate a deep space facility that has been over-run with aliens that want to kill you. Your job is to discover what happened to the scientists on the facility, and to kill the aliens.
This is made difficult by several things, and I'm going to go very nice and slow for you.
ONE. Top-down design. This is where, in games like Pokemon, you view your character from a 'skyview', and follow them around. It was originally used in games such as Lufia II, Pokemon, sprite games that didn't have the processing technology we have now. It was also coined by blizzard on games such as StarCraft (Also a game i detest) because it allowed easier camera flight to your various units, allowing players to micromanage their armies.
I can almost see why they would do that in SC, and god knows it wasn't the worst design flaw in that game by any means, but in a shooter, it is not a good idea. The last game that was designed in this way was called Infantry, and it was terrible. not just for that, but the controls (see below for more) were ridiculously complex. It simply didn't work for a shooter game, and I am simply baffled as to why any self-respecting game company would choose to design their game in this view.
The only saving grace of that is that they did put in a first-person toggle-switch in the options menu, but because everything was designed to be looked down on, the graphics are simply terrible in this mode. Not a good design idea, and should never have been implemented.
TWO. The controls are simply awful. The first 'mission' you can do in solo-mode is a very long tutorial where my fingers wandered most of the way over the keyboard trying to find buttons that stopped me dying. The controls are meant to be easy to use, not difficult to find, and they simply weren't. Okay, 'E' was still the use key, and 'Mouse 1' was still shoot, but nothing else stuck into my memory, and some wasn't even explained to me, hence why I died when the first alien ran at me from the shadows.
'F' provides a fairly unusable flashlight, as in this game, your aim is dictated by your mouse movements (as with most games). But in a top-down design this simply idea goes out the window, and as a pretty seasoned first person player, it was very difficult, nigh-on-impossible to get used to this new mechanic. It's not worth my time to work out how to use something so basic from scratch, and I think this should have at least been thought about.
THREE. This is the ONLY part of the game I liked. Ammunition does not last forever and does not grow on trees. It is a good thing that a game designer has finally decided to make ammunition finite. It isn't dotted around all over the fucking place, it's very much you're on your own. I like this idea.
But not in this game.
With the game already made difficult enough with a dodgy control system, the LAST thing I should have to worry about it firing at the next wave of aliens and not being able to do a THING about it. I simply don't think this idea works in this game. Any other game, and it would have been wonderful, but this just takes this from 'badly designed but okay game' to 'piece-of-shitsville'. And I had such high hopes too, which leads me to my final point:
FOUR. Everyone is playing this game. Everyone. Why? "Because it's free!"
That is NOT a reason to play a game. Games are played for fun, not because they don't cost anything. This game simply has no fun parts to it, and if I don't have fun on my own, I don't even want to TRY it with friends.
This game is not accessible to someone wanting to crack into these types of games. I've been trying for YEARS to get into the top-down view hardcore strategy games, and every single game that has come out has entirely failed me.
My problem is that since all my friends are playing it, I'm left out in the cold.
See you all when your bored of your free game.
Tuesday, July 27
Sunday, July 25
eight.
Following this weeks public disgracing of Nick Griffin, cunt-of-the-world award 2009/2010, I thoguht this little piece of brilliance would be perfect:
101 Ways To Kill Nick Griffin!
We'll start with the normal ways:
1. Shoot him.
2. Strangle him.
3. Poison him.
4. Knife him.
5. Run him over.
6. Curb-stomp him.
7. Bludgeon him.
8. Drug him.
9. Lethal Injection.
10. Electric Chair.
Yeah, we'll bring back the death sentence just for him, won't we? We just hate him that much. How his party ever got a seat, I'll never know. Now onto some wilder fantasies.
11. Decapitation.
12. Public Shooting.
13. Public Hanging.
14. Public Decapitiation.
15. Morphine in his wine.
16. Rat poison in his food.
17. Murdered by a hooker.
18. Murdered by a black person.
19. Murdered by a jew.
20. Murdered by a Pole.
Well, how about something entertaining?
21. Ninjas!
22. Samurai...
23. Pirates.
24. Robots?
25. Agent Smith.
26. Kabuterimon.
27. Megakabuterimon!
28. Over-feeding.
29. Over-drinking.
30. Tokomon's teeth?
How about something wild?
31. Caravan'd. Top Gear Style.
32. Demolition ball.
33. Crushed by a fat person.
34. Stabbed by a thin person's shoulderblades.
35. Bears!
36. Moshed to death at an Anthrax concert.
37. Anthrax!
38. AIDS. (Feel that burn.)
39. Seige-starved by picketing his house.
40. Final Destination 3 Rollercoaster Fun Times.(tm)
Ormaybe some ice with that burn?
41. Beaten to death by foreign workers.
42. Handbagged to death by homosexuals.
43. Jihad by UK-Based Islamoextremists.
44. A pound of flesh removed from his body by Jews. (I do like Judaism, really.)
45. Speared to death by a Pole. (I like Poland, too)
46. Mauled by junkies, looking to use the fat on his body to make candles for a fix of smack.
47. Eaten alive by big cats.
48. Eaten alive by big wolves.
49. Eaten alive by cannibals.
50. Eaten alive by Tokomon.
Woooooah, we're half way theeere!
51. Horse-kicking by Juan Valdez's horse.
52. Horse-dicking by Juan Valdez's horse.
53. Caffiene overdose in a cup of Juan Valdez.
54. Poisoned by a cup of Juan Valdez.
55. Eyes burned out of his sockets by molten Juan Valdez.
56. Razorblades in the Juan Valdez.
57. Juan Valdez serenades him with a beating of his guitar over his head.
58. Juan Valdez serenades him with a gun.
59. Mass-stoning for his Juan Valdez.
60. Jamaicans.
I want a cup of coffee now.
61. Space-pirate-amazon-ninja-catgirls.
62. An Ancient Black Dragon.
63. the Raven Queen.
64. Dragon from Shrek.
65. Incinerated by a pink bear that smells of strawberries.
66. Meatballs fall from the cloudy sky and become his fucking head.
67. Deathnote.
68. Scott Pilgrim kills him.
69. Stoned to death with a d20.
70. Gased to death by any local wargames club. The scent would cause his nose to evaporate.
Fuck it, I'm having fun now!
71. Pikachu!
72. Mudkip!
73. Anonymous.
74. V for Vendetta style killing.
75. Claymore'd.
76. Grenade in the face.
77. Joker'd.
78. Riddler'd.
79. Tardis'd.
80. Tokomon. He's worth mentioning three times.
Something old school?
81. Drive him somewhere secluded. Shoot him. Leave the gun... Take the canoli.
82. Crow'd.
83. How about a shave? Blade across his neck.
84. Shot at the barricade of freedom?
85. There can only be one! Highlander'd.
86. Kicked by a motorcyclist off a bridge. Just like Baxter.
87. Human Football.
88. Operatic note so high it smashes his eardrums.
89. Dropkick him so hard it ruptures his spleen.
90. Sacrifice to a pagon god, oblique satan.
Funsies!
91. Strap him to the outside of a rocket. The outer G-Force will kill him.
92. If not, then atmospheric pressure will.
93. If not, his head shall decompress, explosively.
94. If not, fly him into the fucking SUN.
95. Localised Supernova.
96. Thrown in a black hole.
97. Hawking'd!
98. Crash into a sattelite?
99. Burn up on re-entry.
100. Fall several miles to the ground where he is crushed INTO the ground until he is merely whale meat.
And the grand finale.
101. 9/11.
Thank you.
101 Ways To Kill Nick Griffin!
We'll start with the normal ways:
1. Shoot him.
2. Strangle him.
3. Poison him.
4. Knife him.
5. Run him over.
6. Curb-stomp him.
7. Bludgeon him.
8. Drug him.
9. Lethal Injection.
10. Electric Chair.
Yeah, we'll bring back the death sentence just for him, won't we? We just hate him that much. How his party ever got a seat, I'll never know. Now onto some wilder fantasies.
11. Decapitation.
12. Public Shooting.
13. Public Hanging.
14. Public Decapitiation.
15. Morphine in his wine.
16. Rat poison in his food.
17. Murdered by a hooker.
18. Murdered by a black person.
19. Murdered by a jew.
20. Murdered by a Pole.
Well, how about something entertaining?
21. Ninjas!
22. Samurai...
23. Pirates.
24. Robots?
25. Agent Smith.
26. Kabuterimon.
27. Megakabuterimon!
28. Over-feeding.
29. Over-drinking.
30. Tokomon's teeth?
How about something wild?
31. Caravan'd. Top Gear Style.
32. Demolition ball.
33. Crushed by a fat person.
34. Stabbed by a thin person's shoulderblades.
35. Bears!
36. Moshed to death at an Anthrax concert.
37. Anthrax!
38. AIDS. (Feel that burn.)
39. Seige-starved by picketing his house.
40. Final Destination 3 Rollercoaster Fun Times.(tm)
Ormaybe some ice with that burn?
41. Beaten to death by foreign workers.
42. Handbagged to death by homosexuals.
43. Jihad by UK-Based Islamoextremists.
44. A pound of flesh removed from his body by Jews. (I do like Judaism, really.)
45. Speared to death by a Pole. (I like Poland, too)
46. Mauled by junkies, looking to use the fat on his body to make candles for a fix of smack.
47. Eaten alive by big cats.
48. Eaten alive by big wolves.
49. Eaten alive by cannibals.
50. Eaten alive by Tokomon.
Woooooah, we're half way theeere!
51. Horse-kicking by Juan Valdez's horse.
52. Horse-dicking by Juan Valdez's horse.
53. Caffiene overdose in a cup of Juan Valdez.
54. Poisoned by a cup of Juan Valdez.
55. Eyes burned out of his sockets by molten Juan Valdez.
56. Razorblades in the Juan Valdez.
57. Juan Valdez serenades him with a beating of his guitar over his head.
58. Juan Valdez serenades him with a gun.
59. Mass-stoning for his Juan Valdez.
60. Jamaicans.
I want a cup of coffee now.
61. Space-pirate-amazon-ninja-catgirls.
62. An Ancient Black Dragon.
63. the Raven Queen.
64. Dragon from Shrek.
65. Incinerated by a pink bear that smells of strawberries.
66. Meatballs fall from the cloudy sky and become his fucking head.
67. Deathnote.
68. Scott Pilgrim kills him.
69. Stoned to death with a d20.
70. Gased to death by any local wargames club. The scent would cause his nose to evaporate.
Fuck it, I'm having fun now!
71. Pikachu!
72. Mudkip!
73. Anonymous.
74. V for Vendetta style killing.
75. Claymore'd.
76. Grenade in the face.
77. Joker'd.
78. Riddler'd.
79. Tardis'd.
80. Tokomon. He's worth mentioning three times.
Something old school?
81. Drive him somewhere secluded. Shoot him. Leave the gun... Take the canoli.
82. Crow'd.
83. How about a shave? Blade across his neck.
84. Shot at the barricade of freedom?
85. There can only be one! Highlander'd.
86. Kicked by a motorcyclist off a bridge. Just like Baxter.
87. Human Football.
88. Operatic note so high it smashes his eardrums.
89. Dropkick him so hard it ruptures his spleen.
90. Sacrifice to a pagon god, oblique satan.
Funsies!
91. Strap him to the outside of a rocket. The outer G-Force will kill him.
92. If not, then atmospheric pressure will.
93. If not, his head shall decompress, explosively.
94. If not, fly him into the fucking SUN.
95. Localised Supernova.
96. Thrown in a black hole.
97. Hawking'd!
98. Crash into a sattelite?
99. Burn up on re-entry.
100. Fall several miles to the ground where he is crushed INTO the ground until he is merely whale meat.
And the grand finale.
101. 9/11.
Thank you.
Saturday, July 10
seven.
So, let's talk a little bit about animal cruelty.
After a wonderful, wild, and somewhat weird night, I got to thinking about what really constitutes as "cruelty to animals". It all started wih a moth in the microwave.
Long story short, no-one was allowed to enjoy a nice little bit of moth-corn, but it did cause a rather large schism in the group. Some mused that it was cruelty, and much less humane than squishing the darn thing to death, while others complained that as the ridiculous, flailing thing was dead anyway thait didn't matter the cause of death.
And I began to ponder.
Animal cruelty is pretty much frowned upon by everyone with a name. Yet these are the exact same people that will quite happily slap flys, swat at moths, and destroy bettles and ants with not a thought. Yet these are animals, are they not?
Insects, avians, mammals, amphibians, all these things are animals. Heck, even WE - being mammals - are animals. So, if we go with the ideals of "Survival of the Fittest" then killing bugs is just another cog in the wheel, another spoke in the circle of life. Evolution IS working, so all we're really doing is contributing to Darwinism by getting rid of the animals that were stupid enough to fly into the room.
And for pretty much that reason, I'm on their side. Death, yes, is tragic, whether something small or large, but almost ironically: life goes on. With every thing that dies another creature is born in it's place. So why must I repent my sins for killing the bettle on my leg that summer?
But why stop at bugs? This is where the problems come in. Where do you draw the line? It's fine to kill a small creature that's commonly considered a problem, but hey! Mice and rats are considered "vermin" by a great deal of people? Why can't we kill them the same way? Just smash them out, much like we do other "creepy-crawlies"? Because it's mean, evil, and murderous to kill anything larger than an inch.
Fuck, why stop there? I'm a furry, I love animals. A LOT. Animals are one of my favourite things in life. But if we're gunna kill another species of animal - the humble ant or common house-spider - what about something bigger? DO the same principles apply? Cheetahs. Lions. Elephants. Even domesticated cats and dogs. Why do we not kill these things? The common answer? "Because it's wrong."
But is it really wrong? Like I said, the Circle of Life continues. Evolution IS working. So if an animal is stupid enough to walk into a bear trap, or a noose, shouldn't it just be allowed to die? Another spoke in the wheel?
But hey, why not stop there. Humans! Being animals ourselves, we can kill each other. It's got a name: Murder. But hey, if it's okay to murder a fly, isn't it okay to kill something larger, like a human? Or not even that, maybe we can just enslave them, and treat them like their already dead. We can even use a group of people that lives in perpetual poverty, like all the black people in Uganda, Tanzania, The Congo. Make them do our dirty work. And if they're stupid enough to cross the line? We can kill them. Just like animals.
And you can almost see, in a weird, twisted sort of way, exactly the thought processes of Hunter, Slavers, and other groups considered evil throughout the world. It's almost logical, really.
And that's what angers me. Because it shouldn't be that logical.
And that's when I stopped thinking, and cleaned the microwave. Hopefully it's clean enough for Alex.
After a wonderful, wild, and somewhat weird night, I got to thinking about what really constitutes as "cruelty to animals". It all started wih a moth in the microwave.
Long story short, no-one was allowed to enjoy a nice little bit of moth-corn, but it did cause a rather large schism in the group. Some mused that it was cruelty, and much less humane than squishing the darn thing to death, while others complained that as the ridiculous, flailing thing was dead anyway thait didn't matter the cause of death.
And I began to ponder.
Animal cruelty is pretty much frowned upon by everyone with a name. Yet these are the exact same people that will quite happily slap flys, swat at moths, and destroy bettles and ants with not a thought. Yet these are animals, are they not?
Insects, avians, mammals, amphibians, all these things are animals. Heck, even WE - being mammals - are animals. So, if we go with the ideals of "Survival of the Fittest" then killing bugs is just another cog in the wheel, another spoke in the circle of life. Evolution IS working, so all we're really doing is contributing to Darwinism by getting rid of the animals that were stupid enough to fly into the room.
And for pretty much that reason, I'm on their side. Death, yes, is tragic, whether something small or large, but almost ironically: life goes on. With every thing that dies another creature is born in it's place. So why must I repent my sins for killing the bettle on my leg that summer?
But why stop at bugs? This is where the problems come in. Where do you draw the line? It's fine to kill a small creature that's commonly considered a problem, but hey! Mice and rats are considered "vermin" by a great deal of people? Why can't we kill them the same way? Just smash them out, much like we do other "creepy-crawlies"? Because it's mean, evil, and murderous to kill anything larger than an inch.
Fuck, why stop there? I'm a furry, I love animals. A LOT. Animals are one of my favourite things in life. But if we're gunna kill another species of animal - the humble ant or common house-spider - what about something bigger? DO the same principles apply? Cheetahs. Lions. Elephants. Even domesticated cats and dogs. Why do we not kill these things? The common answer? "Because it's wrong."
But is it really wrong? Like I said, the Circle of Life continues. Evolution IS working. So if an animal is stupid enough to walk into a bear trap, or a noose, shouldn't it just be allowed to die? Another spoke in the wheel?
But hey, why not stop there. Humans! Being animals ourselves, we can kill each other. It's got a name: Murder. But hey, if it's okay to murder a fly, isn't it okay to kill something larger, like a human? Or not even that, maybe we can just enslave them, and treat them like their already dead. We can even use a group of people that lives in perpetual poverty, like all the black people in Uganda, Tanzania, The Congo. Make them do our dirty work. And if they're stupid enough to cross the line? We can kill them. Just like animals.
And you can almost see, in a weird, twisted sort of way, exactly the thought processes of Hunter, Slavers, and other groups considered evil throughout the world. It's almost logical, really.
And that's what angers me. Because it shouldn't be that logical.
And that's when I stopped thinking, and cleaned the microwave. Hopefully it's clean enough for Alex.
Monday, July 5
six.
It's like you're watching it happen to someone else. Two unbelievable weeks. Two unforgettable, memorable, and altogether wonderful weeks... only to be forced to walk away, leaving everyone you truly love behind. And yes, I'm crying.
We'll start at the beginning.
Day 1: Consisted mainly of leaving my little Scottish home desperately excited to get to the states again. Anyone reading this will understand exactly why I needed this so badly. They'll know just how much I've looked forward to this for not only months, but near on a year. One year on, and with my trip almost behind me, I can say it truly was worth every single penny that i never should have earned. However, after two flights back-to-back, and a train ride to the middle of nowhere in New England, Massachusetts, I was finally greeted with a friendly face, a good nights rest (hah, how I joke), and a well fed stomach... though not specifically in that order.
Day 2: Even more traveling. Straight back to the airport in fact. Wherein I finally got to see one of the closest people to me - a certain Zach for those in-the-know - and travel with him out to Pittsburgh. Why?
I'm a furry. I like to do furry things. No, not animals, you idiots.
There's this convention. It's called Anthrocon. It's the biggest furry convention in the entire fucking world. And I was there. Again.
"Furfags" get the most fun.
Once in Pittsburgh, I got to meet up with another especially close person to me - A certain Richard, for those who knew about the last guy - and a mutual friend called Adam. From there, we bounded forth to Anthrocon.
The David L. Lawrence Convention Centre and Westin Hotel, Pittsburgh is in fact one of the best venues I have ever seen for a large-scale event like Anthrocon. The hotel prices are not what one would call... cheap, but lord knows It's worth it. The convention itself is also wonderful, and very accommodating to artists. Zach actually had a table where he was selling (very well priced and worth-the-money) merchandise! I was staying in the same room as (funnily enough) Richard and Zach, so it wasn't long before the beds were pushed together. More room for cuddling that way. A few preparatory things and a nice long rest, and we were ready.
Day 3: God. Where to begin? Registration happen in a blur. People upon people upon people started cramming their way into the hotel. Furries everywhere. I was in heaven. Not much happens the day before the convention aside from the opening ceremonies (which once again, I did not attend) but we entertained ourselves. Met a lot of wonderful people, friends from each and every side of the fandom, and got some lovely food in my stomach. A sleep, and then, something magical happened.
Day 4: You will all of heard of Travis by now. My invisible boyfriend, hidden from everyone I know by the internet. On this day, he arrived. And the Con get better and better and better. Waking up way too early; showering like a lame-man; bumbling around looking for breakfast; ferrying merchandise over to the dealer's room and running around buying artwork would tire anyone out. When your boyfriend arrives halfway through, you tend to catch a second wind. And god, did I.
I'll admit, i got fairly angry about certain things that day, but Travis was there to calm me down. Together, alone, we took a walk through the convention centre, out onto the balcony as the sun set over the Allegheny River, hands clasps and arms wrapped tightly around each other. Magical, truly. And yet, I have no picture. I will forever paint a picture in my mind about the night...it truly was wonderful... After our little couple-y moment, we went to see one of the fandom's comedians perform, and god damn if it wasn't good. Nothing could have spoiled that night for me. And indeed, nothing did.
Day 5: More waking up too early, but happily warmed by Travis' arms; More dumb showering, but made less awkward by Travis' presence; More fumbling for something to do for breakfast, but with Travis, Zach, and Richard with me, we'd find something. Meeting people, buying things, frittering my very little spending money away on material items which I will forever cherish. Another performance that night, this time from the chairman on the convention himself, performing his own (much fabled) stand-up routine. Ah, such is the life of a furry. Another night with Travis... and sadly, my last for a long while...
Day 6: And so, my boyfriend is forced to leave... He couldn't get time off work... I'll admit, it broke me to see him go, and there were definitely tears as I walked back to the hotel... but what time I did get to spend with him were some of the happiest moments of my life... and of course at a convention like this, there were lots...
Travis, thank you... <3
So what did I do today? Well, I tried my best to keep a brave face, and with Zach and Richard there to help me, I cheered up enough to get through the rest of the convention. This was the last official day. Tomorrow, we left for home.
Day 7: And homeward all the furs did go. Having to leave Richard was hard, let alone all the furs I had gotten to see and meet at the convention that were all scattering themselves to the winds. Another plane home with Zach... and then my second week began, with another close friend: The much talked-about, Kelly.
Day 8-13: Ah Kelly. If you're reading this, thank you so much for the good times you let me have with you. For letting me stay at your house, for shipping me from place to place to see people like Zach again, for even letting my friends come round to your home on the night of the 4th of July, you have been so kind to me. I cannot adequately give you thanks, but what thanks I have given you, I hope you cherish.
For those who weren't there: There was a lot of hanging out, one trip into Boston-proper, several days of hanging out with friends, including the Z-word, and some wonderful nights of film-watching. Through Kelly's generosity, I got to see people I've known for ages like James and Calvin, two utterly wonderful people I am so close to. I've had the chance to just kick back and enjoy what time I've had here. I've had time to let the sadness slip away, and be happy for a while...
But with all things, on this, Day 14, the sadness returns. In a few short hours I'll be on a plane back home to Scotland, and I will most likely not see these people for another year...
Travis, Zach, Richard, Tony, James, Calvin, Kelly, Sean, Adam, Nathan, Emily, and everyone else I got to see and talk to:
Thank you.
I will never forget this trip.
I will never forget you.
I love you.
We'll start at the beginning.
Day 1: Consisted mainly of leaving my little Scottish home desperately excited to get to the states again. Anyone reading this will understand exactly why I needed this so badly. They'll know just how much I've looked forward to this for not only months, but near on a year. One year on, and with my trip almost behind me, I can say it truly was worth every single penny that i never should have earned. However, after two flights back-to-back, and a train ride to the middle of nowhere in New England, Massachusetts, I was finally greeted with a friendly face, a good nights rest (hah, how I joke), and a well fed stomach... though not specifically in that order.
Day 2: Even more traveling. Straight back to the airport in fact. Wherein I finally got to see one of the closest people to me - a certain Zach for those in-the-know - and travel with him out to Pittsburgh. Why?
I'm a furry. I like to do furry things. No, not animals, you idiots.
There's this convention. It's called Anthrocon. It's the biggest furry convention in the entire fucking world. And I was there. Again.
"Furfags" get the most fun.
Once in Pittsburgh, I got to meet up with another especially close person to me - A certain Richard, for those who knew about the last guy - and a mutual friend called Adam. From there, we bounded forth to Anthrocon.
The David L. Lawrence Convention Centre and Westin Hotel, Pittsburgh is in fact one of the best venues I have ever seen for a large-scale event like Anthrocon. The hotel prices are not what one would call... cheap, but lord knows It's worth it. The convention itself is also wonderful, and very accommodating to artists. Zach actually had a table where he was selling (very well priced and worth-the-money) merchandise! I was staying in the same room as (funnily enough) Richard and Zach, so it wasn't long before the beds were pushed together. More room for cuddling that way. A few preparatory things and a nice long rest, and we were ready.
Day 3: God. Where to begin? Registration happen in a blur. People upon people upon people started cramming their way into the hotel. Furries everywhere. I was in heaven. Not much happens the day before the convention aside from the opening ceremonies (which once again, I did not attend) but we entertained ourselves. Met a lot of wonderful people, friends from each and every side of the fandom, and got some lovely food in my stomach. A sleep, and then, something magical happened.
Day 4: You will all of heard of Travis by now. My invisible boyfriend, hidden from everyone I know by the internet. On this day, he arrived. And the Con get better and better and better. Waking up way too early; showering like a lame-man; bumbling around looking for breakfast; ferrying merchandise over to the dealer's room and running around buying artwork would tire anyone out. When your boyfriend arrives halfway through, you tend to catch a second wind. And god, did I.
I'll admit, i got fairly angry about certain things that day, but Travis was there to calm me down. Together, alone, we took a walk through the convention centre, out onto the balcony as the sun set over the Allegheny River, hands clasps and arms wrapped tightly around each other. Magical, truly. And yet, I have no picture. I will forever paint a picture in my mind about the night...it truly was wonderful... After our little couple-y moment, we went to see one of the fandom's comedians perform, and god damn if it wasn't good. Nothing could have spoiled that night for me. And indeed, nothing did.
Day 5: More waking up too early, but happily warmed by Travis' arms; More dumb showering, but made less awkward by Travis' presence; More fumbling for something to do for breakfast, but with Travis, Zach, and Richard with me, we'd find something. Meeting people, buying things, frittering my very little spending money away on material items which I will forever cherish. Another performance that night, this time from the chairman on the convention himself, performing his own (much fabled) stand-up routine. Ah, such is the life of a furry. Another night with Travis... and sadly, my last for a long while...
Day 6: And so, my boyfriend is forced to leave... He couldn't get time off work... I'll admit, it broke me to see him go, and there were definitely tears as I walked back to the hotel... but what time I did get to spend with him were some of the happiest moments of my life... and of course at a convention like this, there were lots...
Travis, thank you... <3
So what did I do today? Well, I tried my best to keep a brave face, and with Zach and Richard there to help me, I cheered up enough to get through the rest of the convention. This was the last official day. Tomorrow, we left for home.
Day 7: And homeward all the furs did go. Having to leave Richard was hard, let alone all the furs I had gotten to see and meet at the convention that were all scattering themselves to the winds. Another plane home with Zach... and then my second week began, with another close friend: The much talked-about, Kelly.
Day 8-13: Ah Kelly. If you're reading this, thank you so much for the good times you let me have with you. For letting me stay at your house, for shipping me from place to place to see people like Zach again, for even letting my friends come round to your home on the night of the 4th of July, you have been so kind to me. I cannot adequately give you thanks, but what thanks I have given you, I hope you cherish.
For those who weren't there: There was a lot of hanging out, one trip into Boston-proper, several days of hanging out with friends, including the Z-word, and some wonderful nights of film-watching. Through Kelly's generosity, I got to see people I've known for ages like James and Calvin, two utterly wonderful people I am so close to. I've had the chance to just kick back and enjoy what time I've had here. I've had time to let the sadness slip away, and be happy for a while...
But with all things, on this, Day 14, the sadness returns. In a few short hours I'll be on a plane back home to Scotland, and I will most likely not see these people for another year...
Travis, Zach, Richard, Tony, James, Calvin, Kelly, Sean, Adam, Nathan, Emily, and everyone else I got to see and talk to:
Thank you.
I will never forget this trip.
I will never forget you.
I love you.
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